Obsession

April's 28th Birthday Party

Alleke sat quietly on her mom's lap when the lights went off and everyone began to sing. It wasn't until after the cake went up in smoke and the room filled with laughter that she lunged for her mom's neck.

If you had asked me, I would have told you Alleke was terrified of her mom's birthday, but the next day she had a tea party with her dollies and sang, "Ahhpppy Birrrday t'MAMA."

That was only the beginning. The Happy Birthday Song would become Alleke's first notable obsession, and it was fascinating to see how she could create an entire empire around this one song, simply by linking one experience to another, then grouping them, and forming meaning. After some time, virtually every person or place or thing reminded Alleke of the The Happy Birthday Song, and she would break into song yet again.

Alleke's obsession started with cakes and candles, mainly, but soon anything that looked like a candle would do, even crayons or ChapStick or street lamps. Flowers reminded Alleke of birthdays because there were flowers sitting on the table at her mom's birthday party. Music in general reminded Alleke of birthdays. She would beg to watch birthday videos on YouTube, especially the video of her sitting on her mom's lap, her face glowing over all those candles. Alleke would watch the video over and over, and she would cry when it was time to do something else.

The Happy Birthday Song was more than a tune with lyrics, it was a worldview, a lens by which Alleke interpreted her surroundings, or maybe a creed, something she could use to judge her experiences and give them meaning. When she got bored, she would sing the song. When she wanted to give someone a compliment, she would sing the song and fill in the blank with his or her name. Sometimes I would wake in the middle of the night to Alleke singing the song in her sleep, no doubt rehearsing another birthday in her dreams. When she finally saw her uncle Rick in person, and had difficulty pronouncing his name, she elected to refer to him by singing the song, since we had recently celebrated his birthday. Rick's name was The Happy Birthday Song.

At first I didn't know what to make of Alleke's obsession. I didn't like celebrating our birthdays every day because I thought it wouldn't seem as special when a birthday actually happened. But I changed my mind because really, who doesn't want every day to be a birthday.

That's the difference between adults and kids. Adults say we can't, and kids say we can. Adults say only some days are special, or more accurately, only some people are special on some days. It's all very complicated and requires a calendar and some forethought.

For kids, every day is special, and every person is special every day. Alleke likes to remind me of this by telling me today is my birthday too, and that for me is worth singing about.

Here's the birthday video Alleke watches almost every day...


Watch Happy 28th Birthday April! on Vimeo.