Lessons from Africa

West Africa by babasteve.

Byron and Lisa are some friends of ours who live in Tanzania, and for many years lived among the Maasai people in Kenya. For a short time, they lived with their kids in Portugal where April and I would visit them once a year before Alleke was born. They would invite us into their family for a few days, and we would spend most evenings around the fire place with a cup of tea, and they would tell us stories from Africa.

Of course I remember the story about the house they built in the jungle burning to the ground. I remember the story about children in their village being paralyzed by a local witch doctor. I remember the one about Byron's favorite dog, a Jack Russell Terrier (a small dog with a lot of courage), breaking his neck trying to defend Byron against a leopard.

For as many memorable stories as they told us, I'm surprised one story in particular sticks with me more than the others. I use this story almost everyday as a parent.

Lisa explained to us one afternoon while her daughter was helping her in the kitchen that where they had lived in Africa children didn't really have toys. Instead, they spent most of their time pretending to do the same household tasks as their parents. So while mom was building a fire, her daughter might gather some sticks and also pretend to build a fire. A child's play was not defined by toys, but by curiosity and imagination.

I find this perspective on play helpful for a number of reasons. For one, it means we can play anytime anywhere, even if we don't have toys (or kids). As long as we bring our curiosity and imagination, something as mundane as sorting the recycling or grocery shopping can be playtime.

Secondly, play is not limited to toys, which is a relief to me because I don't actually like most toys. I get bored, which makes me feel like an uninterested parent. I remind myself that I can be playful, even without Play-Doh or building blocks. Alleke loves splashing around in the kitchen sink while I'm making meals, and yesterday she couldn't wait to go up on the roof to help April pot new plants.

Finally, engaging in play while we do our housework is developmental. In our case, it teaches Alleke how to do our household chores herself, and it demonstrates that they can be done playfully.

Work and play can be one and the same, and I hope Alleke learns that from me--because actually, I do whistle while I work.

For more, read about my last trip to Africa...