Spain Dad, a baby blog

I suppose we did look comical: two dads strolling through the park wearing babies and bouncing them to sleep. We were two little boys with dolls pretending to be mommies, oblivious to our four women friends who trailed behind giggling and talking about how adorable we looked. April wished she had brought her camera.

Meanwhile, Javier and I were happy to have met, set up on a “blind date” for brunch that morning by our friend Maggie because we live in the same neighborhood, and we’re both young, involved dads.

We had a lot to talk about, and the same questions about what it means to be dad, not mom. What is it that dads uniquely contribute to their families? What makes us different, and valuable?

Mostly we felt incompetent and wished we were more like our wives.

We needed help with our job description, but realized we didn’t know other dads in our neighborhood. So, we asked why that was, which seemed like the first step in the right direction.

Spain has one of the lowest fertility rates in the world
The fertility rate in Spain in 2007 was 1.29, which is the number of children the average woman will have during her lifetime. The world average is 2.59. Many couples in Spain either decide not to have kids, or they have one or two, which means there are not many kids or parents to begin with.

Most families live in the suburbs
In my experience, most couples move to the suburbs or small towns when they have kids because they can find bigger houses, quieter neighborhoods, and private schools. Although I think our neighborhood in the city center is a great place for kids, most people think of my neighborhood as the place 20-somethings go clubbing on the weekends.

Many families stay at home instead of going to a cafe or bar to meet friends
Spain is an outdoor culture. Most people spend time with their friends at bars and cafes, not at home. Home is primarily a private space, more functional than social. As Javier explained, more couples are spending time at home together with their kids, which means they’re isolated from their friends who are at the bar around the corner watching the football game.

Parents work long hours
Most people in Spain have a siesta in the afternoon, which means they work later into the evening. One or both parents might work until nine and get home at ten. They mostly see their kids on the weekends, which doesn’t leave much time for socializing with other families.

If you are a Spain Dad, or you know where to find one, drop me a line at kellycrull@gmail.com. Maybe we can meet up with our kids at the park.